I Measure My Shadow

A poem about pain, reckoning, and quiet forgiveness

Pain
Unforgivable
How do I live with what I’ve done

I hurt myself because I hurt you
The purity in your gaze
Rapid beat of your heart — life is too fierce, too strong

The beating of my heart — as fast as a cheetah, as slow as a sloth
The beating pulses up my throat
As if to vomit the despair — of life

Pain
A sudden realization
How do I move forward

A million kisses to erase the fear
A million kisses to erase the hurt — of life

Pain
Perception
Is this to be my fate?

I measure my shadow in my hand
Is it heavier than my heart?

Ponder the reason, the echo, the grief
Is there ever a reason — of life

Pain
Manageable
Now I look to make things better

I pray to the sun, to the warmth in the skies
I pray to bring down its light

The reason, the shadow — of life

Pain
Is forgivable
How will I ever make anything better

By spreading the light, tender and true
Fulfilling the reason
Fulfilling the reason — for life